Apr 1, 2010

As much as things change, they stay the same

It's been a while since I wrote anything regarding my transition let alone anything here to my blog. I don't even know if anyone even stops here anymore to check up. I'm not sure if life has just become complacent or I'm just living normally and I don't have anything of substance to add here. God knows there's been a lot of news on Trans rights, Health etc. For me life is just life, and while that's a good thing for the most part but it certainly doesn't mean I'm done or do not have any more moments.

It's gotten to the point that I'm just Karyn now and that's cool with me. I still however have my moment in public worrying that I'm being read or someone is simply seeing me as a boy. I've often told my wife I don't thin I'm feminine enough for this and she laughs at me. I'm not totally sure why but considering she tends to be tomboyish I can probably guess. I do know that when I'm out and get into a worrying mood that all it takes at times is to see my reflection in a window or mirror. At that point I'll usually wonder how anyone could possibly see a boy anymore. That is except the people who have known me for a long time. Yes people, it still happens.

Upon a recent trip to a local dollar store with my mother and father in law there was an elderly gentleman asking my father in law questions about ipod touch accessories. He called me over and told the man that "this guy right here can help you, he's good at this stuff" I thought to myself that not only will I never get out of Kev's shadow, but I wonder what kind of a disadvantage I am at by being outed in that manner. I did my best to help the man and explain things so he could understand them, I even called my wife over for reference on something. When the gentleman walked away he looked back and said thank you ladies, you've been a bog help!! Have a great day ..

Score one for the girls! YAY!!

It's kind of funny to think that even being "outed" by my father in law that my appearance is so girlish that it didn't matter what he told the man.

As we were walking around the store my father in law made mentioned to Dee's mom that he had me help the man and he referred to me as "he" when he pointed at me. My mother in law spun around quickly and quipped "She's not a HE, she's a SHE"

God love her! She has been so awesome to me and I see her so much differently than I did 20 years ago. She's such a sweetheart.

As much as things change, they stay the same. I'm learning that people will make mistakes and some people refuse to see it at all. Doesn't mean we aren't loved but it definitely continues to sting. For now I guess I'll take what I can get! :o)