where ya been

Things have been a bit quiet lately, not much to report, not much to discuss I guess. I’ve had a bit of a hard time swallowing my friends’ death. While I think he was way too young to die, it isn’t the reasons I have uneasy feelings about it. To die at that age of natural causes is a hard thing to swallow but we understand that sometimes it is better than the suffering that can be attributed to your decline. The bottom line is that if he died of natural causes I would have mourned and moved on. Even an accident would suck but it is something that while sometimes can be avoided, just happens. Then as in Mike’s case a freak accident sometimes just has to make you wonder.

I’m not making accusations so I hope that this doesn’t come across in that manner. I am having a hard time believing that the manner he died was a total accident. This has kept him on my mind quiet a bit lately and I only hope that this wasn’t what I think it could be. If anything I simply hope he is at peace and I will miss him dearly.

I’ve been in a great mood otherwise; I have no complaints other than the typical “I’m getting old” routine that we all joke about. Even at the level of my mood the most bizarre thing hit me yesterday. The sudden urge to have a good cry. I don’t know why, it has never happened to me in that manner before. I’m not down; I’m very much up but from what I gather it is an affect of the hormones. I don’t hate the feeling but it is different for me. I’ll just take whatever comes my way and embrace it because even at my worst now my days are one hundred fold over what they used to be. I’m still living with the happy to be alive emotions and loving it.

From an emotional value who couldn’t be happy, the RedSox made the world series again and are currently 2 games up. While I think Colorado still has the ability to play good ball and come back, I have a lot more confidence in the RedSox of present than the old bad luck teams I grew up with. It’s amazing what the 2004 WS win did for the fans up here, it’s night and day now. So …go Sox ..

What I had sat on and not revealed here was something that could have been really big news for Diane and I. Twice a year the Oprah show does a show on Gender Identity and Transgender people. She generally handles it in a very classy way that gives some sense of normalcy that counters the old freakish shows of days gone by. After taping her first show on the subject it had gone so well that Harpo decided to do a second show. The second show was to be based around Trans people who had or were transitioning with very supportive families.

Through another party Diane and I were contacted by Harpo as possible guests and it sent to a lot of soul searching on my part. Was I ready to out myself on the grand stage? Was I a good spokesperson for this change? Was my family supportive enough to not only continue to love and support me but be comfortable being ousted to the world in this manner?

I’m happy to report that they were not only open to it they were very supportive. My daughter told me that she was proud of the family she came from and she wouldn’t be who she was if it wasn’t because of who we were. I also had several friends that I inquired to tell me they felt I was articulate enough to be a good spokesperson and handle myself well enough for the task.

For me the biggest hurdle was my concern about my appearance. Did I look good enough and passable enough to not look like a fool. Regardless of what I felt about my appearance, voice or mannerism I am proud to admit that I committed myself to doing this and in return answered the call to Harpo. We were asked for pictures and such but in the end we were not chosen. I am proud to have gotten myself to the point of committal though, I only hope that in the future when the task arises for me to be a part of a bigger solution that I am up for the task.

Recently there has been some division around the GLBT communities over a bill that was to be submitted by Barney Frank called ENDA

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employment_Non-Discrimination_Act

When this bill was written is was with the explicit protection for sexual orientation and gender identification in the work place. While we as society have moved forward we still have a cross section of society that feels your Sexuality or Gender Identity somehow affect your ability to do a good job. This is just a nice was of saying they will use these thing to discriminate and ENDA was to be a good way to silence that discrimination.

After Barney Frank got all the GLBT groups on board to lobby his bill he suddenly has done an about face by removing Gender Identity from the bill. His claim for removing this is to say that they do not have enough votes to pass the bill in that form and he has decided to water it down to only protect his own interest “sexual identity”. Representative Frank could not understand not only the backlash he created within the Trans community but the division within. By removing gender identity Mr Frank created division within the GLBT community by lifting 1 part of the community to protected status and turning his back on the other part of the community. He could not understand why Trans people would not support this bill in its current form and then “someday” adding rights of their own.

Being from Massachusetts I have never been a fan of Mr Franks, I’ve found his interests to always be very self serving. For once though I thought there was some hope that people finally understood that Gender Identity doesn’t mean we cannot contribute in a positive way to society.

As it currently stands ENDA passed the house without having gender identity in the bill and there is a last ditch effort to have it added in the next series of votes down on the house floor. The sad part is that in the end it will only be vetoed by a conservative administration because of the religious right wing.

While I never begrudge any person their faith and I also believe it is my right to have my own beliefs. What I’ll never understand is the ideal that we have to live by the standards of a religious system that doesn’t fit into every person’s box. If someone doesn’t believe in god then why does someone who does get to dictate the rights of all of us. Effectively applying their own religious moral standards to everyone regardless of what they believe.

I for one will live my life in the best manner I can, not being dictate too by someone else’s moral value.

~K~