Nov 13, 2008

Day #4

Things seem to be falling into a quiet routine around here. One of the nice things for me is that my shift hours have me as one of the first people in the building. That helps keep me from feeling like I'm walking into a lion's den by being stared at. So far the people who I have daily interactions with, nothing has changed in how they treat me. I obviously don't know what they say when I'm not around but that doesn't really matter to me.

What has helped to some degree is that for me the changes are minor as I've previously stated. It isn't like I'm suddenly wearing skirts to work and trying to sit with the women. It isn't much of a stretch to go from Boy jeans and Tees to girls other than the jeans now fit me a hell of a lot better. In the job that I'm in I wear shop shirts anyway. For a lot of these people the shocker tends to be in the name change and pronoun area and they will definitely find it hard to see changes because for the most part they are already there

In another twist that I hadn't mentioned in my blog yesterday about guy #1 and HR was that the person that "sold" me out was the person that had my back and went to HR. I'm a bit blown away by it and I appreciate the fact that he cares enough to do that.

So far my experience has been that most people either just want you to be happy or they just don't feel the need to acknowledge it either way. That is to say that they may not agree with it but they just keep it to themselves. Another thing I've found is that you find acceptance in the places that you would have never expected or even looked for it. I've had some of the most macho of guys' wish me well. One even served in the originally ground assault of Desert Storm.

A friend a long time ago when I worked in the main machine shop used to keep the saying. "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to make money" While we all want to be liked, we really need to remember that this is the point of our employment, especially in issues such as this. If someone here doesn't like me because I'm being true to myself then it needs to be remembered that they don't pay my bills. We aren't spending thanksgiving together and we certainly aren't going out for drinks after work. Those things are reserved for my friends and family, not people who have zero effect on my life.

The bottom line here is simply. I know other people who would love to transition and feel whole but are afraid to do so for fear of being ostracized. While it is a scary thing to do and not everyone will agree. The weight lifted off your shoulders and the support you do get is so much sweeter. Don't be afraid to be you!



Lori D said...

Thank you, Karyn, for living so openly, and authentically. You inspire me!

VĂ©ronique said...

Hooray for mundanity! This must feel so liberating for you. I know how it felt for me never to have to pretend any more. And I'm so glad your work environment has been generally positive. It's not like that for every trans person.

You're not afraid, and that's definitely inspiring. Thanks for writing about it!