So far most of this week has gone smoothly accept the one guy I mentioned and one other I just found out about. The difference in the 2 is night and day though. As I've said the engineer has been very vocal to people ripping me behind my back at every chance. Apparently it is really bothering him. I've now heard such things as
I'm a loose cannon (somehow I'm now insane in his eyes)
I'm immoral
It's unethical
It's wrong
I shouldn't be allowed to do it
He refuses to accept it
He refuses to acknowledge it
He refuses to work with me.
This last one he has no choice, he has to work with me because our jobs intertwine and I refuse to be cast aside in my role here. I've been here far longer than he has and it's not about how he feels about me, it's about getting a job done for the common goal of the company.
I knew he was homophobic and I knew he would probably have an issue. I just didn't realize that I would be his bitch session to 90% of the people in this building.
In his travels one of the group leaders who is also a friend of mine is now elevating this information to Human Resources. He feels this need to be taken care of now so that this individual doesn't start turning other people against me here. On another level it's just plain wrong to allow it to continue.
Guy #2 said
I don't understand it
I don't want to understand it
But I wish him and his family well.
Now that's something I can respect. I can easily respect someone who may not agree with it but acknowledges my right to exist. Such a stark contrast in human beings isn't it?
So, when does someone's right to feel comfortable become more important than my rights to feel comfortable with myself and not hate myself anymore. It's amazing to think I've spent 3 years of my life learning to not hate myself just so somebody else CAN hate me.
We can accept a host of anomalies in the human body and yet when it comes to sexuality it is not only taboo, it's wrong in some people's eyes. People like this would deny our right to exist simply to make thir self feel comfortable. It's something that I will never understand.
Now before anyone thinks it's all doom and gloom on my part, it isn't and I'm fine. In fact if this was 3-4 years ago I would have probably gone after the guy in a rage. Today because of the changes I can easily ignore it and let it roll and hope that H.R puts him in his place.
~K~
4 comments:
we have a saying in our house when someone is whining about a ridiculously unnecessary problem that they're creating for themselves, and it's this:
"wow. sounds like a personal problem to me. good luck with that!"
so to the chatty dude with the big problem - good luck with that. ;)
what a good laugh. *chuckles*
I'm glad that your HR department has your back. That's important. Let us know how Guy #1 learns his lesson, k?
I'll take door #2...I mean Guy #2!
He is clearly an example of someone whose paradigm we may never be able to change concerning trans or gay related issues. But it's not imperative that you do change his mind...only that he respects you as a person. Sounds like he's there. I'll take that anyday over schmuck number 1. Keep up the good work, love!
Yeah, guy 2 has a chance to survive and keep his job, I'll bet they are going to warn him once, and then boot his bigoted, hostile bum out the door. And you know, I won't lose any sleep over him losing his job because he's a bigot...
I have to say, I love your line about learning NOT to hate yourself, just so that other people can. Such an excellent point, and well written too!
You're doing great Karyn, more power to you!
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