Sep 23, 2008

little to say (I think)

I've been pretty quiet lately, I haven't really had much to say (hard to believe eh?) or at least not anything of substance. I would have to say that life being quiet is a good thing because there isn't anything in the trans-world on my mind. Or at least anything directly related to me that deserve telling the world.

This past Friday was a major event for trans-people in the U.S.A. It was the verdict in the lawsuit of Diane Schroer Vs the Library of congress. For those that aren't aware Ms Schroer had been interviewed and offered a high level job researching terrorism for the Library. Ms Schroer was and remained the most qualified candidate for the job based on her past military experience. The twist came because Ms Schroer interviewed for the job as David because at the point of the interview her transition had not fully started. Until that point Ms Schoer's plans should have been of no concern to anyone. After she had been offered the job she revealed to the woman hiring her what was going on and this woman decided to renege on the offer. How sad considering that she admitted she did so because all she could see was a man in women's clothes and yet Diane was the top candidate. Suddenly it became little to do with the most qulified for the job and more about 1 person's feelings on someone else life. Thankfully the court sided with Ms Schroer and the idea that being transgender is protected under the law of sex discrimination.

. You can read the full story here

The only other thing I have of value to mention is that I told another coworker yesterday. This particular person is a very old friend that worked with me in another division. We used to hang out together, go to concerts and even attended Woodstock 94 together.

I kind of figured that he would be ok with it because his boss in a trans-woman and he's always spoken highly of her and on occasion hangs out with her. I guess it's a little more shocking when it turns out to not only be a friend of yours but you actually know 2 people that are Trans..

When I told him the look on is face was priceless as his jaw literally dropped open. You could see the wheels in his mind spinning feverishly trying to connect past dots so he could make sense of it. I laughed at one point because of the look and told him that I figured the first thing going through his mind was "Oh my god, I shared a tent with this person!" In the end he told me that his biggest concern was that I was happy and he mentioned that he had noticed that I smile a lot more now.

For me this is a small step in one sense and a much larger in another. For those who are starting to come out please read this and understand this carefully.

It is a small step in the sense that in every person you tell it becomes much easier. When you first start approaching people you do so with a stomach full of butterflies and a mind that spins with the most fearful of thoughts. You understand your life can be and probably will be drastically changed from this point on. A lot rides on this conversation With each new conversation a few butterflies are set free and your mind spins a little less until it becomes "normal" Eventually it just "is"

For me the bigger issue means another step to fulltime. With each of the friends that I have here being reeled in it is getting to the point that the people that need to hear it from me already know. For me, until all those people know, I feel stalled and unable to move forward.

A few short years ago I couldn't even so much as write my name on a web site with the word transsexual in it because I was afraid alarms would go off and everyone I knew would see it. Now a few short years later I can say it isn't an issue anymore and in fact it's a fear that really didn't need to exist. If you're contemplating making this step please do so with confidence in knowing that it is much scarier than it really needs to be.

Lastly to close it out I figured I'd mention our little walk last night. Dee and I every so often after dinner drive to a paved path that goes from town to town through the woods. It's basically for bikes, walking and jogging. The path itself is nice a level with only slight inclines which is nice because my knees aren't great and hills really make it hard on me. The entire length of the path is 3.3 miles and because it is getting dark earlier now we usually go 2 miles in and then the 2 miles back, not too bad! Last night we headed down for our walk at about ½ mile in a put my foot down wrong and twisting my ankle, bending my foot over and sending me face first to the pavement. I ended up banging my left knee on the pavement right on its most tender spot. Today my knee is a bit sore but my ankle funny enough seems to be fine. God it is tough to get old!

Hope your week is off to a decent start …


Not bad for having little to say


Sara said...

Karyn, please know how much your "advice and observations from the future" mean to those of us that are following behind you. So few trans women write with the mindset of giving experience based advice to those who follow, and yet it is so needed and so appreciated.

Along with, of course, stories of your Sunday morning bagels, motorcycle rides, leisure time with Dee, not to mention the sometimes funny gripes and complaints about things that annoy you. And the darker moments, too. Thank you for being you and writing about it!

~K~ said...

Thank you for that Sara. I'm glad to know that there is some value in these posts for other people, it makes it more worth it ....

Hope you and your family are doing well