Life rolls on

This past Wed was my every 4 week counseling session and I have to say it is too the point than it is more like sitting and talking with an old friend than it is an actually counseling session. When I mentioned this to Anne she said for the most part that she felt I was adjusting to this whole process well. Have no deep emotional issues getting in the way and overall I'm so much happier than I'd been a few years ago. This particular affirmation was not only nice to hear, it was something I really needed to hear. It really shows how far I've come emotionally.

Weather wise it's been a crappy weekend but that didn't stop us from having an enjoyable weekend. Saturday morning was a bit busy as I had another electrolysis appointment. It is slow going but I am starting to see some results from it. As long as I can slowly see those results I don't get down about having to go. So far it still hasn't been very painful for me.

Last night we had plans to meet our friend Cynthia for dinner at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants. We had decided to get there early so we all settled on 4 pm. On the way to dinner one of those tiny little smart4two cars passed us. It seems like they are getting incredibly popular up here. Funny enough the license plate caught my eye and I just HAD to get a picture of it!

I absolutely died laughing when I saw this. Looking at the size of the car it certainly is a fitting plate.

When we arrived at Margaritas, Cynthia was waiting outside for us and I felt so bad that she was standing outside in the rain. We went in sat down and boy time flew! In fact the time went so quickly between drinks talking dinner and just having fun that we didn't walk out until 9:30 pm. Apparently I have a new nickname. I believe Cynthia dubbed me "Literal Karyn" albeit I have no idea why! LOL All in all it was a nice evening with great company. This is a friendship that I can see blossoming as she has such an awesome sense of humor and she is just fun to be around.

Today was a pretty quiet day and I guess it was nice to just be lazy we had plans to get some things done but honestly it was nice to just hang. We did our weekly Sunday grocery shopping, went to the farm and brought home stuff to make salads tonight. After dinner I was a bit bored so I decided to play with some makeup and take a few pics. So ..Here's the latest pictures. Hope you like.

I guess that's about it for now, hope you all are doing well and are happy…

Karyn

Kind of cute

My daughter and granddaughter came by to have dinner with us and spend some time. We had a really enjoyable evening going to the path for another 4 mile walk tonight. I'm trying to enjoy what is left of the season before the cold and snow tightens its New England grip on us. I am finding now as I'm getting older I enjoy the snow or the idea of snow less and less.

 

Tonight in conversation Jess started to say something but put the breaks on and said she didn't want to say something that could be construed as offensive. I reassured her that it would be fine, I rarely get easily offended. She laughed and told me the Dee is more of a tom boy and I am more of the girl in the relationship, I just had to laugh. To some degree it is true and it's kind of nice having someone point it out because it becomes more cemented in reality. It's so funny to me that something so minute as that can mean so much at the same time.

 

Karyn

little to say (I think)

I've been pretty quiet lately, I haven't really had much to say (hard to believe eh?) or at least not anything of substance. I would have to say that life being quiet is a good thing because there isn't anything in the trans-world on my mind. Or at least anything directly related to me that deserve telling the world.

This past Friday was a major event for trans-people in the U.S.A. It was the verdict in the lawsuit of Diane Schroer Vs the Library of congress. For those that aren't aware Ms Schroer had been interviewed and offered a high level job researching terrorism for the Library. Ms Schroer was and remained the most qualified candidate for the job based on her past military experience. The twist came because Ms Schroer interviewed for the job as David because at the point of the interview her transition had not fully started. Until that point Ms Schoer's plans should have been of no concern to anyone. After she had been offered the job she revealed to the woman hiring her what was going on and this woman decided to renege on the offer. How sad considering that she admitted she did so because all she could see was a man in women's clothes and yet Diane was the top candidate. Suddenly it became little to do with the most qulified for the job and more about 1 person's feelings on someone else life. Thankfully the court sided with Ms Schroer and the idea that being transgender is protected under the law of sex discrimination.

. You can read the full story here

http://www.abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/Health/story?id=5843396&page=1

The only other thing I have of value to mention is that I told another coworker yesterday. This particular person is a very old friend that worked with me in another division. We used to hang out together, go to concerts and even attended Woodstock 94 together.

I kind of figured that he would be ok with it because his boss in a trans-woman and he's always spoken highly of her and on occasion hangs out with her. I guess it's a little more shocking when it turns out to not only be a friend of yours but you actually know 2 people that are Trans..

When I told him the look on is face was priceless as his jaw literally dropped open. You could see the wheels in his mind spinning feverishly trying to connect past dots so he could make sense of it. I laughed at one point because of the look and told him that I figured the first thing going through his mind was "Oh my god, I shared a tent with this person!" In the end he told me that his biggest concern was that I was happy and he mentioned that he had noticed that I smile a lot more now.

For me this is a small step in one sense and a much larger in another. For those who are starting to come out please read this and understand this carefully.

It is a small step in the sense that in every person you tell it becomes much easier. When you first start approaching people you do so with a stomach full of butterflies and a mind that spins with the most fearful of thoughts. You understand your life can be and probably will be drastically changed from this point on. A lot rides on this conversation With each new conversation a few butterflies are set free and your mind spins a little less until it becomes "normal" Eventually it just "is"

For me the bigger issue means another step to fulltime. With each of the friends that I have here being reeled in it is getting to the point that the people that need to hear it from me already know. For me, until all those people know, I feel stalled and unable to move forward.

A few short years ago I couldn't even so much as write my name on a web site with the word transsexual in it because I was afraid alarms would go off and everyone I knew would see it. Now a few short years later I can say it isn't an issue anymore and in fact it's a fear that really didn't need to exist. If you're contemplating making this step please do so with confidence in knowing that it is much scarier than it really needs to be.

Lastly to close it out I figured I'd mention our little walk last night. Dee and I every so often after dinner drive to a paved path that goes from town to town through the woods. It's basically for bikes, walking and jogging. The path itself is nice a level with only slight inclines which is nice because my knees aren't great and hills really make it hard on me. The entire length of the path is 3.3 miles and because it is getting dark earlier now we usually go 2 miles in and then the 2 miles back, not too bad! Last night we headed down for our walk at about ½ mile in a put my foot down wrong and twisting my ankle, bending my foot over and sending me face first to the pavement. I ended up banging my left knee on the pavement right on its most tender spot. Today my knee is a bit sore but my ankle funny enough seems to be fine. God it is tough to get old!

Hope your week is off to a decent start …

Karyn

Not bad for having little to say

Rye NH

Nice weekend

We had a decent weekend this weekend and I'm a bit worn out today. As previously posted it was our anniversary yesterday so we made it a 3 day weekend but decided not to go away this year.

Friday I got out of work a tad early as I had another electrolysis appointment. This one was relatively uneventful with the exception of 1 hair in the middle of my chin. It felt like it was attached right to the nerve when she hit it. I sweat I could feel that one spot the next morning!

Saturday morning was to be a busy day as we had several things we wanted to do and some plans on the side as well. We got up early and went for our usual Sat morning bagels and coffee at the Manchester Panera. From there we went over to Manchester Harley Davidson for their annual open house.

Manchester open house generally consists of free food, outside vendors, nice bikes, bike demos and some really good discounts on merchandise and clothing. So Dee and I both decided for our Anniversary this year that we would just get some really nice hoodies as we both wear them a lot at this time of the year.

Dee got a nice yellow one with the Harley Davidson embroidered in emerald green on the front and on the lower back portion of the hoodie. I got a nice gray one with an Ace in blue and some little crystals to make it stand out.

From there we headed down to Dee's mom's to picker her and her friend up and take them to the IKEA store down in Stoughton Ma. The IKEA store is so big it takes a while to see everything and look for stuff you may want. After IKEA the four of us hit the Olive Garden for dinner and then back to drop them off.

We had a really nice time with them and while they are trying they still have their slips so I tend to get self-conscious when I am out. It's kind of hard to be just doing my thing and have someone blurt out "Kevin" or "He" in a crowd. Still at least they are trying and accepting so I'm happy.

On the way back my mother in law mentioned a neat bit of info to me. She had told me that she let Diane's Aunt know what was going on and that things were fine with her, her only concern was for Diane and if she was doing ok with things. She did mention that after my father in laws birthday party on of her sons asked if I had been sick or something because my face looked so different to him. He mentioned that he thought my face looked more feminine and softer. This was a piece of information I was glad to have my mother in law hear because now she knows other people actually see it.

Saturday evening Dee and I were bored and at about 9 pm at night we just felt like doing something. We had been tossing around the idea of going out for a few drinks when the sudden urge hit to go to a local diner, be bad and get french fries and shakes. Sometimes it's just so good just to be bad.

Sunday was pretty uneventful just getting our usual weekly stuff done

Monday we decided that for our anniversary and because it was so nice that we would take our bikes and head out to the coast. As we got out by the route that goes up to the coast a young guy in his 20's was walking up to cross the street. The law dictates you have to stop so Dee and I did just that the guy said thank you and started to walk across. As he crossed in front of both motorcycles he suddenly turned towards us, threw up the horns sign and yelled "Chicks on bikes rock!!" I have to admit that I almost pee'd myself laughing so hard.

It was such an unexpected event that it was pretty cool and it made my day at the same time. We drove up the coast, enjoyed the sun, stopped along the way and headed home. I ended up with a sunburn on my arms, guess I didn't realize the sun was so strong yesterday. I did get to break in my new hoodie on the way back as well … all in all a nice day. If I get chance maybe I'll toss up a picture of the area and no, I have none of me!

Hope you're well .
Karyn

Happy 18th Dee

Happy anniversary!! Thank you for being you and loving me the way you do...

Hmmm

Today's Capricorn Horoscope: Sep 11, 2008

If you are not careful to keep your eyes straight ahead, focused only on the future, then the past is likely to catch up to you, dear Capricorn. Don't look back for anything. Even if you do not see anything in front of you, you must continue to move forward. It is true that this is easier said than done. Nevertheless, you feel inspired to give it a try.