Feb 20, 2007

Broken promises

Life has been a bit of a roller coaster ride over the last few weeks, Some good, some bad but even at its worst life is still good right now. A few weeks ago I decided it was time to step out of the box and let my mother in law know what was going on with me. It is inevitable that she will find out as the changes are becoming more and more apparent, or so I thought.

For the people who haven’t seen me in a while the changes are huge. My face has softened a lot from the HRT and it’s a lot brighter with the lack of dark facial hair. I’ve had people that haven’t seen me look at me with that puzzled look trying to figure out what is different but not quite sure. I guess it is kind of like someone shaving a mustache off or a new haircut and you notice something is different but just can’t put your finger on it.

For people who see me a lot more the changes have apparently been gradual enough where it isn’t as noticeable to them so when I told my mother in law she was dumbfounded to any of the physical changes.

While I hoped for the best and prepared for the worst with her I knew it wouldn’t be easy and that proved to be exactly the point. After about a 3 ½ hour conversation she assured me they loved me and they were here to support Diane and me. Her biggest concern was that Diane was ok and with a big smile my wife exclaimed "Who knew I was a lesbian"

I guess that night my mother in law took it upon herself to explain it to my father in law who would bring it up at an improper time. The next night at a restaurant for my wife’s 42 birthday he told me he didn’t understand it but he was there for me. He also made it a point of being upset that he wasn’t included in the initial conversation.

I’m not sure of what it is with people but it never ceases to amaze me that the things that I am dealing with have more of an impact on others lives than my own Go figure!!
My father in law made it a point to tell me he needed to be kept in the loop with this. Both my mother and father in law pledged support and assured me that it was up to me to let the cat out of the bag with others. This theory would fizzle in the not so distant future…

Feb 13th I got out of work and headed to the local mall to get my wife something for valentines day when I bumped into my mother in laws best friend Diane. As the conversation progressed we spoke of several different subject but when she was ready to leave she said something that seemed to stick in my mind.

She told me whatever I was going through that they loved me and would never judge me, they would be here for me. As I walked off and the words echoed throughout my head I realized she knew about my GID and the changes. I had most certainly been betrayed by my inlaws.
I have to admit that I was having a hard time with not only the fact that someone else knew without me being ready, but someone I trusted broke that trust and didn’t even inform me of it. Even after my wife confronted her mom they swore they didn’t say anything. I have it on good authority that they in fact did leak the info. This was someone telling me I needed to keep them in the loop!! I wasn’t kept in the loop on a subject that was about ME!!

While I’ve been off balance for a few days knowing someone else knew and I hadn’t been prepared for that the fact is that it is 3 more people that I don’t need to reveal anything too and they supported me no matter what. If I have to walk away with anything in this at least there is some positive, even thought I needed to get hurt from it ….


I have other things to write about but I’ll save that for later …

1 comment:

Emmy said...

Yes, this drives me nuts when people do this too. But it's unavoidable, at least, in my family. They all seem to know the scoop before I even know, even if its about me! Hahaha! Well, at least it seems that way.
I suppose its better than no one caring at all and just acting like your life is no big deal. That would really stink.
It's still irksome though, especially if you put your trust in someone and then they go behind your back and start yakkin' it up. That's when you get your black marker out and cross them off your "who to tell things to first" list. :p