Jan 15, 2008

Crazy weather and reflection

There is an old New England saying (I'll bet it's used in other parts of the country as well) that states. "If you don't like the weather just wait a minute" New England sits in the middle of 2 jet streams that have a tendency to collide pressure systems and create dynamic storms. Depending on the direction of the stream will result in how stormy it might be or even the temperature. Making it more complex is the fact that we sit on the coast of the Atlantic which helps feed some of the weather that rolls through. So far this winter has been anything but boring in these areas.
The later part of last week saw and increase in temperatures and rain resulting in a great deal of snow melt off. It actually got warm enough to break, no shatter records!! On Friday as we sat in our room we had the scare of a lifetime. Lighting hit not far outside our window causing our whole room to light up as though someone had shot a flashbulb off on a camera. What made this totally amazing to us was the fact that it lit the room up like Chevy Chase's Xmas vacation in broad daylight. Talk about one hell of a scare ..

I don't mind the mild weather even with the wild rain storms, heck I'd even love to live on a climate where it never snowed. To go from major rain to major snow and cold in just 2 days is nothing short of amazing. Monday morning we received somewhere in the area of another 10"-12" of snow again. At this point I'm beginning to think old Mother Nature is either a big joker or she simply has a split personality. When we arose at 5 am to look out and see everything covered yesterday it just seemed easier to call in to work and stay home than to fight driving in the mess, needless to say we had an off day yesterday.

As you have seen I've made a bit more of an effort to step out of my shell recently and post some pictures. I think this was something that has been really helpful into making who I am a normal part of life and I've been embracing it more than ever lately. What has been amazing to me is the positive reaction that I've gotten from people who have seen these pictures. It's taken me time to start seeing what I needed to see in the mirror but I can assure you that as much as I love the compliments I am a typical girl in the sense that I totally hate pictures of myself. I'm always very critical of my appearance!! I actually told Diane on Friday that if I gave into and thought I looked like what people have said then I'd feel really shallow and vain.

While I don't want to look vain,shallow or high maintenance I can tell you what I see in my pictures now. I see eyes that show signs of life for the first time in a long time. I also see happiness and personal contentment. Most of all I do see a girl now which is probably the single most freeing feeling I could have over image. Finally I see signs of something that I'd never though I would ..

"Inner Peace"

Whenever my wife would ask me what I needed or what I was looking for I always stood on that premise, Inner Peace. This was the same thing I told my counselor in the very first session. If there was anything I wanted to gain in life it was that. I'd spent my life feeling inner turmoil every waking moment, it was only natural to want to be at peace ... While I'm not there, I am definitely walking down that path and see it within my reach now ..


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