Mar 24, 2008

Being positive and paying it forward

When I first started talking to Annah Moore about transition the first thing that struck me was how positive a woman she was. This was a woman who overcame a major issue in her life that many of us are fearful of and yet, she carried herself with pride and dignity. It was this spark and her encouraging words that gave me the strength to step out of my safety net, out of my misery and finally start to heal the inner soul.

Many of us in life that deal with trans sexuality live as very negative people. We feel jaded for who we are and the fact that society deems us mentally disturbed.We hide our true selves in an effort to fit into the box that society tells us to adhere too.

For me the change has been awesome and the inspiration from my dear sister gave me the same determination to carry myself with pride, educate others and not feel like I needed to hide what I was dealing with. While I am not at the same level of acceptance of my dear sister Annah, I am well on my way.

Recently I wrote a blog about being mistakenly outed. It turned out to be a good thing for me, but when it happened I was never worried. It wasn't because I was afraid of losing my friends, it was because I'd come to the conclusion that I was no longer ashamed of who I was but I am very proud of who I am becoming.

Paying positive energy forward is a simple premise, Annah payed it forward and I learned from her lead. Hopefully I will be able to pay it forward in my journey and to some degree I already have.

When my friend learned of my plight and we discussed it on the phone one of the issue that came out of it was that a very old friend of theirs was dealing with the same thing. They hadn't seen this person in years and told me they missed him (He's F2M) but they weren't supposed to know about his transition.

She explained that back over the holidays after missing this person they sent him an xmas card in hopes that he would surface but she sent it to his old pre transition name because they weren't supposed to know about it. I explained to my friend that even though they weren't supposed to know, it would make this person feel accepted if they took the reigns and showed that they were cool with it by using his male name.

After getting off the phone my friend thought about what I had said and decided to pick up the phone and call their old friend. To say I am proud of her for doing this is an understatement because she has now paid positive energy forward from me. There is no greater gift in transition than being accepted for our true selves

this past week or so has been very emotional for me (in a good way)

I've come out to some friends.
I've contact my sister who I hadn't seen in a long time and told her
I notified HR at work of my intention to get my name changed in the near future ..

It's been an incredible 5-6 days for me because I think I am finally hitting that "I don't care what others think routine"

It doesn't matter where you are in life if you can be positive and happy please pay it forward as much as possible. Changing someone else's direction can do wonders for them and it makes you happy in the process ...

~K~

2 comments:

Samantha said...

Rock it sister! I love this post, and the entire thought. It's terribly true, and something people often miss.

Annah is a simply wonderful woman no matter how you describe her. She was very important to my own journey too, and never fails to amaze and amuse me. She's got a great view of the universe that's realistic, down to earth, and really positive.

You my dear are doing a great job of following in her shoes! Jenny Boylan mentioned in her Southern Comfort address two years ago that "we" needed more of our stories, and less cookie cutter books that end with the obligatory post-op woman in her hospital bed right after surgery. You know the whole "Ding, I'm so happy..." scene.

It's women like you, Annah, Donna, Dr. Becky and others who really shine, and present a much better, and brighter future for everyone. Not even just people dealing with our condition, but just the average person who finds one of our blogs while trying to deal with someone else's journey.

Keep writing, you're doing a wonderful job!

~K~ said...

I've been meaning to reply to this comment and it had slipped my mind (something thats easy to do lately) This comment was very touching for me. I guess in some resects to be put on a plane with the people I admire is a bit overwhelming but it makes me realize how much I've grown from this experience in the last 2 years.

Thanks for making my day, it was sweet of you ..

Karyn