Mar 27, 2008

Tough one to grasp

There’s been a story that’s all over the AP over the last few days that is drawing a flurry of criticism. It’s about a FtM Transman that transitioned and now because his wife is unable to conceive, he is now pregnant himself. I’ve been avoiding discussing this story because I’m not really sure how I feel about it and to some degree I find myself being a hypocrite. The story is here ..

http://www.kval.com/news/local/17036046.html

I think for me, my hypocrisy is twofold and it is something that is really eating me up inside. Lets face it being trans myself I understand the obstacles we face. But my bias isn’t based in typical ignorance and I’ve yet to form a full judgement of the situation. I don’t know what I would do given the same set of circumstance. So here’s my issues …

1) How this affect the TG community as a whole. It’s painfully obvious that conservatives are not only going to run with this story, but they are going to be nasty about it. My Beaty will be referred to as a “Female masquerading as a man” by people who have total ignorance of G.I.D. The problem on my opinion comes in not what Mr Beaty’s needs are but the fact that it does the TG community a PR disservice. It will lump all of us into one person’s story and give attention that at this point in our game isn’t needed. It sets us back politically. I understand the need to support each other and I don’t discount it. I am however concerned of the damage that it will do.

2) In my own transition the one thing I understood was that it was the difference in my body and mind that was creating me issues. I needed to make both things match in order to feel right and then I needed to be accepted for that. The last thing I wanted was to identify with anything from my male self and that was what was doing the damage to me.

I guess it is hard for me to understand how someone can transition from Female to Male and yet be emotionally capable of carrying a child. Something that is one of the most deep rooted of Female things. It would seem that if it were me, I would want to be as far away from what causes me pain as possible and by embracing something like childbirth it has to make me wonder to what degree Mr Beaty’s Gender Dysphoria went. I understand we all have various stages of GID, but this seems like an extreme to me.

3)Lastly I’m curious if the health implications of the baby were researched before conception took place. What’s the possibility of damage or long term diseases after 10 years of testosterone damage? Does it open up the possibility of cancers? Brain development issues?



I do not and will never judge anyone based on how they feel. My bias is based more on the broader issue than this one issue and it bothers me to think after all the forward movement we have had this past 2 years that this one thing could set us back a bit

Sometimes it is tough to have balance in controversial things such as this and it is hard to be totally unbiased when there are so many smaller issues created from the larger one. It’s much bigger than any of us …

3 comments:

Samantha said...

I'm likewise conflicted. On the one hand I have to give Mr. Beaty mad props for stepping up in a way most men couldn't, and if the could, wouldn't. I imagine this is going to be hard on all of us in so many ways, but honestly I think it will do far less damage than the ENDA mess.

Frankly, while the chance is there for it to turn very ugly, and I imagine the same kind of mindless, bible thumping ignoramuses are going to come crawling out for this that derided, berated and made no end to nonsense for that poor eight year old girl in Colorado. It cannot be helped, we are after all in many ways surrounded and outnumbered by the morons.

The huge upside is how utterly humanizing this is for all of us. He's taking a step up, forward, for love, and wanting to bring a bit more ofit into the world. In his shoes, I'd do no different. My green eyes right now are green with envy in some ways.

This is a story of a new world, a new dawn, a new day. People are more connected, involved, and important to each other in ways than we've ever been before. Jenny Boylan spoke passionately about the need for our stories, not the cookie cutter stuff that's popular. Mr. Beaty is sharing his story, and I gotta say, I'm a bit proud of both of them, and unquestionably concerned too.

You make many, important and interesting points in your post. I shall be very interested in seeing how this works out for everyone. If the eight year old girl in Colorado is any hint, I think this will flare up, burn bright long enough for the morons to show how utterly stupid they are, and then the Beaty family will get on with their lives.

Impact of HRT on the baby? I don't think it is going to be that big a problem, I've known natals with huge HRT problems who've carried perfectly normal babies to term.

There is one other side of this I'm thinking is going to be of amazing benefit to humanity. A MAN carrying a child to term and giving birth? Maybe they will understand and appreciate us more. Will see, first hand, from a MALE perspective what it is that we give freely. Mr. Beaty is at least as far as his brain goes, a man. This will be the first time in history a man will know what "birthin babies" is really all about. I shall look forward to seeing what he has to say in the years after giving birth.

We do indeed live in interesting times my friend...

~K~ said...

I had such a hard time posting that thought. I'm the last person in the world that wants to come across as judge mental and I don't really intend to be. I think what My Beatie is doing is admirable for sure. I think the fact that he's going pubic with it is probably one of the most courageous things I've ever seen. I've often been told in transition that what I'm doing is brave or courageous and my answer is generally thanks but I'm not, it's just a matter of survival. I know Annah feels the same way.

I think when you walk unto unproven ground such as this then you really see what being brave is all about.

I've spent the day reading the comments on the web and I've seen so much negativity. It kills me to think that society assume they can't be good parents simply because of the gender issue. It's so sad really ...

I'm just praying with all the EDNA stuff, the issue in Maryland, Colorado that this doesn't create more damage. While I don't think we should fly under the radar it just appears to be a lot of stuff thats getting bad press lately ....

I certainly hope My Beatie the best and wish them a happy and healthy baby .... it's one of the most satisfying parts of our existence here ....

~K~

~K~ said...

Geez ..That's supposed to be "MR" Beatie