I know it shouldn’t be a big deal and for most people maybe it seems insignificant, but for me it’s always nice to be maamed, she, her or simply ladies when we are out and about. It makes me feel good to know that I'm finally just being instead of struggling with who I am.
While things aren’t fully where they need to be, they are definitely moving in positive directions. I’m slowly getting more comfortable being open and a bit exposed emotionally. I’ve taken small everyday steps to break out of the shell I’ve been living in. Basically my normal everyday attire now is simple ..Nice Jeans, a girls T-shirt and a normal bra. I say normal because for a long time now I’ve been depending on a sports bra to hide the girls. I’m not wearing anything that clearly defines male or female visually so it’s always nice when under the plainest of circumstances I hear the proper pronouns because I’m just being natural
Saturday night Dee decided she wanted to do something a little different. Normally on weekends we try and grab a bite to eat out and we struggle with where we want to go. This weekend Dee said she just simply wanted "Pub Grub"
For those who aren’t aware, pub grub is simply "bar food" or "comfort food". Not terribly healthy but every once in a while you have to let loose. We decided to go to one of our favorite local places called "The Common Man". The Common Man near us is set in an old New England Barn that still has that old barn charm but it is a nice restaurant with a huge fireplace.
Upstairs is a loft overlooking the restaurant in a nice atmosphere that has a bar, tables and even couches to sit and enjoy a few drinks, appetizers or even a meal in. One of Dee’s favorite comfort foods that they serve is a Mac-N-Cheese pizza. Yeah yeah sounds crazy but it is actually really good!
When we sat down we got the usually how are you tonight ladies can I get you some drinks? Dee immediately honed in on a pomegranate martini that she has been dying to try for some time. For me it was a matter of being undecided.
Hormones have changed me immensely, even to the point that beer makes me feel crappy now. I used to love full-bodied beers and I guess I still do, I just have to ask myself if it is work not feeling well afterwards. So by default I generally don’t drink much anymore.
So as the waitress walked back with Dee’s martini I decided I would default to an old stand by and I asked the waitress for a Capt and Diet coke. The waitress smiled at me and responded with something really cool~ "Oh a girl after my own heart"
Now I know this seems minute and no big deal but for whatever reason it just made my night and stuck me in a positive way. Sometimes it is funny that we see those moments in something that almost seems meaningless, but it’s nice to be able to savor those times …