Jun 18, 2008

The boring details! .. Not ..

I've again been quiet for a few days and I know there are a lot of people interested in hearing about the next steps. I haven't intentionally ignored anyone, I've needed a few days to let things sink in and let it just be mine and also Dee's I do appreciate the comments and emails more than anyone could understand.

My phone forwarded the last blog note shortly after the change was made legal so I haven't even signed on to see what the deal might be.

Monday started on an early note for me as I wanted to hit the hospital for blood work. I have a Dr's appointment on the 27th and I'm at my 6 month interval for blood work. I wanted to make sure it went in before the name change so that there would be no confusion on the insurance. The local lab at the hospital starts drawing at 7 am so it is pretty convenient.

My court appointment was for 9:30 am on Monday and I was probably as nervous as I'd ever been during any major event in my life. We arrived in the court parking lot at 8:55 am. We wanted to be there early enough just in case we got stuck in traffic. Because there was no traffic it afforded me 20 minutes of sitting in the car playing with butterflies, in my stomach!

When we got called into the courtroom the bailiff had us sit while the judge was getting ready for us. They then brought Dee and I into her chambers to do the change in private. She had me swear in and showed my the form I filled out asking me if everything on that form was true and if the signature was mine, I agreed it was. She then asked me if I had completed my surgery and I told her I hadn't. At that point she kind of sat up in her chair and asked if I had discussed what I was doing with any doctors. I explained that she had a letter from my Dr and she realized that the clerk had sealed the record. She asked for my permission to unseal the record and after reading the note from the Dr she approved it on the spot. She then explained that I could go to the office next door and get any copies I needed.

Dee and I proceeded to the office next door to get my copies and when the clerk asked "how many?" I replied "three please" and sat on the bench to wait. I guess it hadn't hit me until Dee asked me how I was feeling and I could feel the tears starting to come out. I guess the whole thing pretty emotionally overwhelmed me and it finally hit me.

From there we decided to the DMV for my new license (Picture is horrible) Apparently NH has started a new licensing system and not all the kinks are ironed out. When we first moved to NH we were used to long lines at the DMV's in Mass, we became spoiled here. In NH all licenses are done at the DMV all registrations are done at your town hall. This made a trip to the DMV painless and literally a 10 minute ordeal … not the time! It took 3+ hours this time!!

When we walked in the length of the line overwhelmed us. They had a trooper greeting people, giving them forms to have ready and in general getting them where they needed to be When he came over to me he went to hand me a form and I showed him the one I had printed from the web, he agreed it was the proper form but I hadn't checked off a reason for a new license. I told him I was unsure of which because I was there for a name change. The trooper told me that would be an easy one and just asked to see a marriage certificate ..um … maybe you need to read the court order there … I have to say he never missed a beat and it was cool to just have it assumed I was changing my last name due to marriage ..LOL ..

As we were in line waiting we ended up striking up a conversation with a young lady who had just been married. She misplaced her license and needed a replacement for her honeymoon. During the course of the conversation she mentioned her "Wife" and how they were going on their honeymoon. After a comment I made about Dee and I she asked "Oh are you two together?" She then asked if we had done the civil ceremony in NH or the whole marriage thing in Mass…I have to say I walked out of the DMV tired from the wait but elated that I was just blending in without really trying too….

From there we hit the Social Security office and then the Bank so most of the major stuff is done. I just need to do my car registrations and credit cards now. With all the running around it was hard to absorb that it was finally done and it is definitely a huge stepping stone for anyone going through this process. The bottom line is that I'm happy I did it and I don't have to worry about it anymore, all my fears and nerves were unfounded …

Legally me ~Karyn!!~

1 comment:

Samantha said...

You're going to laugh, but what I'm about to say is 100% true. I kind of envy you. Yup! You heard that right. Due to the extenuating factors in my life and the situations not related to gender shift, my experience was well, VERY different.

For example on the day that my name became legally mine, or better way of putting it, on the day I legally became me, I was three hundred miles away and didn't even know it had finally been done until my lawyer called. So I got to miss the parts you and some many other women I know have in common. Plus I wouldn't have wished my particular journey on anyone.

I can however relate really well to the "Ahhhhh, finally!" part of the trip. I'm very proud of you, you're doing great!

Oh, and get used to people just assuming. Despite what you'll hear in the "trans-community" about how hard this is, and people being mean, and whatever stuff many people whine about, transition can be a non-event. I didn't have a schedualed full time date, it just kind of happened when dressed fully as a guy people still called me Ma'am and Miss... The funniest part of it for me is I'd gone full time for a year before my name change was legal, and no-one questioned me. I lived in a bit of fear that someone would say something or make a stink before I had the docs.

You know when I finally got "proofed" as the saying used to be? When I went drinking in Kentucky with my brother and sister-in-law. Not because of gender, but because the waitress honestly thought I was under twenty one... She actually asked if she could join us on her break because she wanted to know how I looked so young... How funny is that?

Anyway, I'm rambling here... You're doing great Karyn, and I think your going to quickly reach a point where people are just going to refuse you were ever a guy... It's a great feeling, and I admit, we are blessed. Like Annah or Jenny we didn't need "cranes, backhoes and shit" to "change" gender.

Wait till you've been on HRT for several years, people will really have trouble believing it...

"So, you're like married? To a woman? How cool!" will probably be as far as things will ever get...

You're doing great!