When I wrote my blog at the beginning of this week I had mentioned the close of vacation and the return to work. As fate would have it on Friday I received an email upon my return from lunch informing the employees of my company of a mandatory shutdown at the end of July. While I'm in a position of accruing my vacation very quickly I had to feel bad for the people who didn't have much time in. I also think it sucks that they could only give a 2 weeks notice but in most cases expect more in return when you are going to be out... Corporate America fukking sucks!
Ahhhhh, now that I've gotten that out of the way the fact is, I'm looking forward to another week off. I may even consider taking it unpaid so I can use my time when I want .. MY time..
Saturday morning Dee got up and went to work at curves. From there she was to meet her mom for a manicure and lunch. I took the time to get up early and meet a close friend of mine for breakfast and then go measure his Harley for some parts he needs me to make him. Upon going outside I decided it wasn't so cold that I couldn't take my bike, so I got some well deserved riding in. I had an enjoyable ride, breakfast and morning overall. While my friend doesn't fully know what is up with me yet I did tell him in the near future we need to have a talk. This is the one I'm totally nervous about.
After that I went home, did some work around the house, sat and had a cup of tea with Dee and her mom and headed out to get some errands done. I needed to hit the local farm to get some eggplant as my daughter had been begging me to make her eggplant parm for a family get together on Sunday. From there we decided to stop for dinner at a local diner and head home, all in all a nice time.
Sunday morning we met my Cuz for breakfast, something we have been attempting to make a once a month plan. We had been neglecting it during the month of June due to busy schedules and such so it was nice to finally get so see her, sit and chat. I have to admit she has been totally awesome and has been open about the changes I've going through. We we arrived at the restaurant she was already sitting down and as she would later mention to be she noticed with my hair down when i walked in how feminine my appearance was getting. I have to admit that with each person that knows me learning about whats going on I have a bit of discomfort until I get used to them knowing but when I hear those things it is such a comfort.
During the course of our breakfast she even referred to me as "she" to Diane in such an effortless way that I felt totally accepted... It was sooo nice to hear. As the three of us were leaving the restaurant the waiter exclaimed "Have a nice day ladies" which just re-enforces everything again. It seems that the less I try, the more I pass... It must have to do with me being more relaxed and letting it happen instead of willing it to happen, at any rate i wouldn't change it for anything ..
After breakfast we went and got some stuff at the local Walmart and headed home to make some stuff for the party today. I ended up spending 2 hours making the eggplant for Jess and it was nice to see how happy she was to get it. We sat today and had a nice little chat and at one point made a comment in private about my "boobs" apparently it has really gotten noticeable even under large men's shirts.
Normally I take a mans small shirt but what I had learned from my 200 pound large days was that if I wore a men's large it hid what i didn't want to be noticed, guess that theory is a bust now, or at least my chest is!
With the grandbaby being due this Wed the conversation was centered a lot around that and Jess even asked me what i was going to want to be called. I guess I had wondered that myself on one hand but on the other i hadn't really put much thought into that because I've been in such a weird place. The fact is that it was very touching for her to ask me that and most certainly shows that she cares about my feeling in all of this. It felt really good ..
Now I'm home and the rain has come in so it's time to veg and just enjoy the sound. To say it was a busy weekend would be an understatement but as weekends go, this was a nice one and i seem to have more and more of those lately, for the first time in my life I actually like my love and am learning that I can find happiness ... it's so fukkin awesome!!