Apr 3, 2008

Oprah, Visitors and me

tonight was the big Oprah show on the Transgendered man who is pregnant. One thing I have to admit is that Oprah always handles these subject with the utmost respect and dignity. This was the reason we would have accepted being on her show if we had been picked.

I think I walked away softened to the subject, it seemed a little more human to me and you can see that they really seemd to love each other. They did a great job ..

Last night I got my letter for name change. You don't have to have the letter to do this but I was told it makes the process a lot easier. It was good to get it but scary at the same time. It seems like I'm another step closer to my final goal and just a little further from the old me. I'm really happy today

I noticed tonight I was getting a bunch of hits from a wierd address so I tracked back to the original source. It turned out to be a board for new parents and they were discussing the pregnant man story. As I scrolled down I realized my daughter had posted about her dad going through the process, a picture of me and link to my blog. I'm proud of the fact that she is so comfortable with it that she can be proud of who she is. What really stuck me was a few of the comments about how nice I looked and it was cool that I'm so comfortable with it. It was really nice to go to a board like that and see open minded non-judgmental people. We need a lot more people like that in this world.

When I was young I never considered myself to be a good looking boy. It wasn't until last year looking back at a few band shots that I realized I was actually kind of cute bcak then. Still, my self esteem was low enought that I never believed it at the time.

Now years later and a change of hormones I'm right back to where I was back then. I go through times where I don't think I look very good. It's kind of funny but I guess it is somewhat of a teenage adolecsence. It's really nice to have other people make positve comments because like a lot of women, I'm critical of how I look at times.

I had an awesome conversation with my sister tonight. It's been a while since we could talk and we really hadn't since this change started. In the course of the conversation she referred to me as her "sister" several times which was an awesome feeling. I'm hoping that with that acceptance we will be able to establish that bond on a deeper level. It's something I always wished for but never in a million years would have ever thought happened.

One of the nice things in transition for me has been when people have "ah ha" moments and something just seems to hit them. Mainly a piece of the puzzle falls into place and I suddenly make more sense because of who I am. Years ago when I would have conversations with our friend Nancy I would usually hide the more private answers with "That's a funny story, maybe someday I'll tell you about it". it usually related to what I'm going through now. When she thought about all those times and my transition it suddenly all made sense to her... an ahh ha moment ...

Anyway it is late and I'm getting ready for bed .. Hope all is well with life for you...


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