Some days I just don’t get people. This morning my coworker and I got into a discussion about some others who have decided that they don’t agree with what I’m doing, one of which is his wife. Last Friday night they caught the show on 20/20 about Transgender children and his wife (We’ll call her "A") felt really bad for the kids that were on the show. She felt that people needed to be accepting of those kids and help them through to live, as they needed to live. When the conversation turned to me it was a much different story.
A’s premise is that because I outwardly projected male for most of my life then I should remain that way and it is sick of me to change it. Apparently it makes no difference to her that 37 years ago that child on 20/20 could have been me. Why do we have compassion for children yet not for adults afflicted with the same issue? Just because we view children as helpless? Do we have the same compassion for an Autistic adult that we would have for the child afflicted with the same defect? It never ceases to amaze me how people can draw a line such as this.
Another friend’s wife keeps driving home the fact to him that I’m "Making a mistake" So if my transitioning is such a mistake was the bullet the right choice instead? It never ceases to amaze me that everyone is an expert on what I’m dealing with and how I should live but they cannot fix their own lives. This particular woman lives daily with depression and literally walks around miserable everyday. This is to the point it impacts her marriage in a very negative way. Yet, she insists that my DR’s are "Brainwashing me" and "Stealing my money"
I’m not sure I understand what people think we are supposed to do. If we get treatment then we are wrong, brainwashed, making a mistake or whatever but if we were to take our lives because of it then it would be tragic. With some we get stuck between a rock and a hard place and no matter which path we are presented with there is no decision that makes everyone happy. Under those circumstances then who should be the happy one? I can answer that; ME!
I’m not taking the path that I am to hurt anyone, force anyone to think differently, to make him or her uncomfortable or even challenge what little intellect they might have. I’m simply trying to SURVIVE and in a manner that makes my own life bearable and conducive to my thoughts and feelings.
Grow up people, not everything is about you and what you want!
~K~
2 comments:
Unfortunately, it's simple, Karyn. They have no idea of the depth of pain that gender dysphoria causes. They think that if one has lived with it for 40 years, then that person should be able to just continue pushing it back to finish out their lives and commitments. That is so much easier to think and believe... I wanted to think it too - but I can't and won't. I know how much pain you and Sara and so many others have been through and I can't allow myself to ignore that. Most people who have not witnessed that pain have the luxury of dismissing it.
(By the way, hello! I'm Sara's wife, Lori. I've been reading your blog for some time now...you and Dee are an awesome couple.)
Hi Lori!
Thanks so much for your comments. I emailed you this am directly about them. It's nice to see you becoming activer with Sara and if there's anything Dee or I can do for you guys please don't hesitate to ask ..
~K~
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