Apr 18, 2007

Rain sucks/Floods too!

Well all the rain has resulted in flooding just 11 months after what they were calling the 100 year floods. Crazy stuff for sure but lucky enough but at least it isn’t as bad as it was last year. It has made getting to work a but of a nuisance for sure as the building I work in is right across from the Merrimack River.

The river is quite a bit over flood stage and from what they are saying about 8" lower than last years records. Along the river are several low lying areas and even homes that tend to flood out as the water rises. This even causes the water to flood out the route going by it thus causing me to take several detours to get here.

After I got in the am we flipped on the radio in the shop and as the news report came on they started mentioning all the flooded area. In the course of the report they stated that Rt110 was closed from the Armory to the highway. I wish someone would have told me that before I drove through that area. Stupid reporters…

I wonder how many people are going to miss work assuming the road is closed.

I love the rain, especially during the hot summer months when you have the house open and you get to smell the change in the air as it falls. What I really can’t stand it days and days of straight rain. As it stands right now the rain started Saturday and won’t leave until tomorrow. The radio just labeled it "The storm that just wont go away"

On other notes things have been relatively quiet for me this week, I’ve been a bit drawn out because of all the damp weather. It really keeps me in a groggy, sleepy mood. My face is slowly coming back to normal from the laser session I had on Saturday. Generally after the session for several days my face hyper pigments and it feels bruised in the areas where there is dark hair. As the dark hair has disappeared this has lessens quite a bit.

The hyper pigmenting is simply bruising, of the hair follicles from the lasers energy. The darker the shaft of hair the stronger the penetration, hence gray hair is unaffected and dark hair is desired.

Because my beard was so dark and coarse when I first started my face absorbed quite a bit of energy and at times it could actually feel like someone had punched me from the trauma. As much as it hurt to have it done, in the end the results are worth it and I’d do it all over again if I had too.

This past appointment was mainly to shoot 3 very tiny areas that we less than the size of a dime and any stray dark hairs that may not have broken the skin. I’m assuming that this should be it, now I can concentrate on the gray on my lower jaw and neck.

Yesterday was a bit of a weird anniversary for me. It was 13 years ago yesterday I fell through a window and caused severe damage to my right wrist. In the process I severed the artery and the radial tendon rendering my right wrist completely useless and keeping me out of work for 3 months. I had surgery that day to repair the damage and spent the next 3 months wondering if I’d ever pick up a guitar again. Thankfully it was the guitar playing that actually made my recovery that much better because I was very flexible in that wrist already.

One of the other things that stand out in April that I rarely talk about happened on April 1st. It isn’t a celebration of any kind so I generally don’t mention it. April 1st 1995 was the day my Dad committed suicide taking his life. The reason I bring it up now is because of the things I’ve been through over the last 2 years. I’ve been close to that myself to some degree. It was a selfish thing for him to do but in my own suffering I have a better understanding of why people can get to that point.

If you are dealing with any kind of depression, thoughts of hurting yourself or just daily misery over your life please get help and talk with someone. When I started my little journey I am on the last thing I expected to ever do was talk about it on the web in detail. As I have done that it has been a source of therapy for me helping me take each step in a positive manner. If my little steps here make someone else think about getting help then I have done what I intended to do by talking.

O a more upbeat note today is my Mother-in-Laws Birthday. I don’t think we will get to see her tonight but we are all going out to dinner on Saturday night to a BBQ place and we can celebrate then. Anyway HBD mom, even though you don’t read this blog .. LOL

Tonight we are going to head over to one of our favorite local restaurants (T-Bones)for a couple roasted turkey dinners. We have a few coupons that will cover 90% of the cost of the meal. Anything for almost nothing works well for me!

As far as me personally, things have been quiet and not a lot to report. I’ve been a bit lazy in nurturing myself lately and sadly not much is changed in that area. I need to get off my butt and start working on my voice now. The problem I’ve had with that is that I feel so silly doing it but it is part of the process and needs to be addressed. Once I can do this comfortably, then I think all the parts I need for the puzzle will be in place to get ready to the real life test. I’ll just need to finish telling people.

The real life test is living in the appropriate gender for a year 24/7. It is the standard that you have to complete before you can have any surgery. It is designed to simply see and show you whether or not you can survive in the gender you are moving too. This also includes changing names and legal documents. It’s all still a long way away but every step gets me closer to being who I always believed myself to be. Scary times indeed but if I end up feeling better about myself in the process then it will be well worth the time invested.

Before I jet for the day I wanted to take a moment for the Virginia massacre that just happened. When people lose their lives for stupid reasons it is a very tragic incident, It becomes even more tragic when it comes to it happening on a mass scale as happened at the university. What is bothering me about this whole thing is the world’s fixation with our gun laws and not the sympathy of the victims. This isn’t about you or me, this is a time for remembering the people who lost their lives because of this very twisted individual and our 2nd amendment has little to do with this. Please do not turn these tragic deaths into a political hotbed simply to further your own agendas, focus on the families of these poor people… My heart certainly goes out to them … may they rest in peace.

Anyway, I hope your humpday kicks major ass …


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