Apr 5, 2007

Sometimes ya just gotta vent

I've been good for a while about being positive and trying not to be the way I was before. I was such a negative person that it seemed to ooze from my pores at times. When you are miserable with yourself you have no reason to feel upbeat or feel there is any hope at feeling right. That has slowly changed for me with all the steps I've taken and I've certainly become a glass is half full kind of gal!

That briefly changed for a bit tonight and my mood is a bit down over something my daughter pulled. She pitted sister against sister to get what she wanted. Last year after being emotionally abused by her boyfriend she moved home. My wife and I did everything we could to help her and have her work on herself and straighten her life out so she could be happy. I even loaned her $14k to buy a car

While she was here she was trying to work things out with her boyfriend and on a camping trip he became physically abusive. She ended up applying for a restraining order as she assured me and everyone that knew her she was done with him. I certainly wish she had been telling the truth.

After 30 days she came up on her hearing to extend the order to one year and even her abusive dip shit b.f. showed up. She stated her case and the judge granted the stay for one full year. This was good news as we thought but something just didn't seem right. In the long run it turned out while she was applying for the restraining order she was still seeing him all along and we were all duped. She committed perjury in front of a judge to propagate her lie. The only explanation we have been able to come up with was that she did it this way to get help buying a car. Needless to say the car got confiscated and sold upon learning we were being played and lied too.

After his happened we made it a point to tell family that we would not be at any family functions that her b.f would attend. We were assured that the entire family were behind us because they didn't like this guy either because of what he had done to not only Jessica but my wife and I

Tonight we received a phone call in regards to Easter Sunday at my sister in laws house from my daughter where we were informed that she spoke to her Aunt and she was bringing her B.F. to Easter and she would call ahead of time so we could "leave" so we don't have to see him. I'm not sure why she thinks it is fair to expect us to leave a family function for someone who is simply not family and caused so much turmoil. Most of all we couldn't understand how my sister in law could allow this.

My wife decided to call her sister and tell her we would not be attending Easter at her house now and explained we were not comfortable being around Mark. What came out of the conversation astounded me. My sister in law said that he wasn't invited to Easter dinner. Jessica asked if he could come and she told her to ask Diane if she would be comfortable with it. When Jess called she simply made it sound like she had the support of her Aunt to deceive us ....yet again..

This past 8 months have been tough on me as last May and June I really thought I finally had my daughter back and that she genuinely cared about us. That all fell apart over the restraining order issue and I'm sad to say I rarely hear from her now. I don't see her for our birthdays or anniversaries. I didn't get a card for my birthday or any of her time, I simply got a 6 second message on my answering machine

It came out several months ago that my daughter is now pregnant from this dick head. I have so many mixed emotions over it and don't know which way to turn. I so wanted to be able to enjoy my grandchildren when the time came but i know that my grand daughter will be used as nothing more than a tool to hurt my wife and I

Not long ago Jessica made it a point of telling me she wanted me around for her daughter and while it was nice to hear she was very selfish in the manner it was done in. I rarely hear from her and in all honesty I feel like she doesn't care if I live or die. She doesn't call to see if we are OK, she doesn't call to tell us she cares. misses us or loves us, She calls when she wants something.. no more no less...

I guess it breaks my heart that I'm expected to be there for her and a grandchild but she can't be there for us.She truly is a selfish person and a taker. I've finally come to the realization I've simply failed as a parent and lost my daughter for good... and I'm very heart broken tonight...


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