May 8, 2007

Happy Tuesday...

Another absolutely beautiful day is in store for us as the sun is bright and the temperature should be close to 80. It is pretty amazing when the season finally starts to break because we have temperature swings of 40-50 degrees at times. You can easily wake up on any given morning with the outside temp being mid 30’s only to be in a tank top and shorts by noon time.

Today is the birthday of a very good friend of Diane and I. Kristi officially turns 29 this year and hopefully she will get to go out and celebrate in style with her husband Todd tonight.

Back when I started talking to Annah Moore about the things that were pounding my brain into a mushy state of being, we started off on a very slow incline as I was trying to keep my identity secret. I knew that Annah knew who I was because of the forum I ran that she was a part of and we had some minor conversations in the course of her membership. The issue was that she couldn’t put a face to the name when she finally heard who I was.

It totally seems crazy that one person with Trans issues has such a hard time opening up to another who has the exact same problems doesn’t it? The depth of pain that dealing with this can cause really keeps you on guard, it keeps you in constant fear or repercussion and judgement. I was no different. When I finally mustered up the courage I sent Annah a picture so she knew exactly who I was as my face had been plastered all over the site partying in Anaheim with friends and musicians.

The picture I sent her was one that had been taken at a show in Anaheim that a bunch of friends from the forum had gone too. The show was Gary Hoey and there was quite a crown of people and a lot of alcohol that evening.

That picture was of two of the wives and good ole me standing right in the middle. As Annah had been trying to convince me that this simply wasn’t going to go away, I really needed to get help and give myself the option of transitioning and living out the rest of my days in peace. I have to admit it was a concept that scared the crap out of me on one hand and intrigued me with the other. After all could I finally have a shot at feeling normal for once in my life?

I remember vividly telling Annah that as amazing as she looked that I could never get to the point of passing and looking natural. Annah simply pointed to the picture and said "see the two women on either side of you? In a few years you will just blend right in and be one of the girls." It was a conversation I took to heart as anyone with any form of GID wants to feel normal and most of all, just blend in. We aren’t looking for negative attention and for the most part most of us just want to go stealth, or blend into society and live peacefully.

So why does this story have a lot of meaning? It’s simple..

The picture with the two girls to either side of me had one person in particular, to my left was Kristi.

This was the first time Diane and I had met Kristi and you could see she had a zest for having fun and had no problems fitting in with our group. All in all we were happy that our friend Todd had found such a nice girl to be a part of his life with. Todd had such a gentle nature about him and Kristi seemed like the perfect fit to his puzzle. … it was the start of a friendship for us that would really reveal itself at a later time.

Kristi has been a good friend to me through all the learning process I’ve been on and most of all has always gone out of her way to make me feel like I could fit in. We have had some really nice chats and she has pointed out some things that weren’t always so obvious to me. She is most certainly a cool chick and as I tell Todd, he is very lucky to have her in his life …they are most certainly good people ..

Who knew a simple picture could have such a strange twist …

Anyhoo …Happy 29th Kristi, and may Todd bless you with many more of those happy 29ths ..

Your friends ~K~ & ~D~

1 comment:

Todd said...

I'm one lucky dude!! ;-)